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What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (9/10/2017)

What foolish thing are individuals discussing now? Sigh …

This spending plan James Bond bad guy had no organisation owning a swimming pool filled with sharks. Sharks, the “young puppies of the sea,” normally require care that can’t be offered by a basement swimming pool. The living sharks were saved and will be embraced out to caring houses- wait no sorry, to a real fish tank capable of managing 7 sharks.

This got us questioning, how precisely do you get 10 sharks to your basement swimming pool? Exists a shark shipment service? A shark black market? Men in dark allies with trenchcoats loaded with sharks?

One of the troubles acquiring sharks (aside from the teethy bitey things) is their preservation status: numerous are threatened. It amazed us to discover out that you can really store for sharks online. This site declares to be legitimate, with legal licenses to gather and offer sharks. It likewise firmly insists upon humane treatment of the sharks, requiring their customers reveal evidence of appropriate tank centers. The very best part of the site is their assurance: “NO GAMES! WE GUARANTEE LIVE ARRIVAL ON ALL AIR SHIPMENTS OR YOU GET ANOTHER SHARK OR YOUR MONEY BACK!” I want there were more warranties like this, like “If this bottle of OxyClean does not wipe out spaghetti discolorations out of your white t-shirts and you aren’t 100% pleased, get a complete refund OR YOU GET ANOTHER SHARK.”

I didn’t recognize there might be a worst handle typhoon Harvey and Irma, however here it is. A feel-good short article released by the New York Times about a lovable old couple likewise called Harvey and Irma. Sure, typhoon Harvey ravaged Texas, eliminating and displacing individuals. And today Irma is making landfall, where the damage and bodycount is increasing, however look how adorable this old couple is!

Do we actually so frantically require typhoon stories that we need to turn to cutesy coincidences? Are we running so short on more significant stories, such that somebody needs to compose this little morbidly cloying wordplay: “Given the ferocity of Hurricanes Harvey and Irma in 2017, this will most likely be the last and very first time the names appear in tandem. The Schluters, by contrast, have actually been appearing in tandem considering that the 1940s.”

Cute. Anyways, an approximated 13 living in the Caribbean have actually currently passed away after devastating landfall from Irma.

Here’s how the occasions apparently decreased : A lady satisfied a person on Tinder, went to his location, utilized the toilet, stressed when it blocked, dug the poop out of the toilet, tossed it out the window, worried once again when she discovered it landed not on the yard however in a narrow location in between 2 unusable windows, attempted to recover it head initially, and got stuck. In general, a quite above-average Tinder date.

If this is a scam, it’s a damn great one. Not just did the fire service confirm that somebody performed in reality get saved from in between 2 windows, however the large imaginative skill to weave such an engaging tale of poop retrieval would suggest we have another David Lynch in our middle.

But if this story holds true, I wish to take a minute to attend to the brown elephant in the space. People: ladies poop. Ladies: we need to begin confessing that we poop. This entire culture of pity around females pooping requirements to end. “I’m a lady, I pooped in your toilet and it obstructed, I require a plunger,” should not be world-shattering, however for lots of ladies it is. We’ve been taught that the correct thing to do is to pretend we’re biological marvels who never ever poop and pee just as soon as a week. We require to let females come out of the shadows, so no one needs to turn to poop espionage once again.

Silicon Valley executives have actually been so hectic kissing their own asses, they’ve forgotten how to consume. After rebranding getting high on LSD as “micro-dosing,” a “performance hack,” they’re now rebranding fasting as “biohacking.” Whatever needs to be “hacking” with these geeks, they most likely call alone time with their cream greased hands “intimacy hacking.”

The brand-new pattern of not consuming for a couple of days is expected to be a cheat code for dieting, err, I’m sorry, “biohacking.” The claim is that it aids with weight-loss (duh), efficiency, and energy. Advocates of fasting sound beautiful sciencey, with all their talk of ketone-consumption (which occurs when the body enters into hunger mode and begins consuming its own fat shops). And far be it from me to question the all-inclusive knowledge of abundant Silicon Valley dweebs, however perhaps it ‘d be cool to see what some real researchers state about the results of fasting.

According to short articles that were released in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, it holds true that periodic fasting might use health advantages, such as resistance to illness and increased performance of memory and knowing. Many of these research studies have actually been carried out on animals. Furthermore, the take advantage of fasting might just be because of the general reduced calorie consumption. Fasting might just give the exact same quantity of advantages of conventional calorie limitations, and has actually the included risk of binging on non-fasting days. Research studies on fasting have actually discovered individuals frequently overindulge to compensate for their time fasting, and fasting is likewise a strong risk-factor in establishing binge-eating conditions and bulimia.

I’m not stating you should not listen to dieting recommendations from Silicon Valley executives who aren’t physician. Do not come weeping to me when you attempt out the most popular brand-new trend of “pee-hacking,” where you just urinate on odd-numbered days and you end up the mom of all bladder infections.

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