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What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (9/10/2017)

What dumb thing are individuals discussing now? Sigh …

This budget plan James Bond bad guy had no service owning a swimming pool filled with sharks. Sharks, the “pups of the sea,” normally require care that cannot be offered by a basement swimming pool. The living sharks were saved and will be embraced out to caring houses- wait no sorry, to a real fish tank capable of managing 7 sharks.

This got us questioning, how precisely do you get 10 sharks to your basement swimming pool? Exists a shark shipment service? A shark black market? People in dark allies with trenchcoats loaded with sharks?

One of the troubles acquiring sharks (aside from the teethy bitey things) is their preservation status: numerous are threatened. It amazed us to discover out that you can in fact store for sharks online. This site declares to be legitimate, with legal licenses to gather and offer sharks. It likewise firmly insists upon humane treatment of the sharks, requiring their customers reveal evidence of appropriate tank centers. The very best part of the site is their warranty: “NO GAMES! WE GUARANTEE LIVE ARRIVAL ON ALL AIR SHIPMENTS OR YOU GET ANOTHER SHARK OR YOUR MONEY BACK!” I want there were more assurances like this, like “If this bottle of OxyClean does not eliminate spaghetti discolorations from your white t-shirts and you aren’t 100% pleased, get a complete refund OR YOU GET ANOTHER SHARK.”

I didn’t recognize there might be a worst handle typhoon Harvey and Irma, however here it is. A feel-good short article released by the New York Times about a lovable old couple likewise called Harvey and Irma. Sure, typhoon Harvey ravaged Texas, eliminating and displacing individuals. And today Irma is making landfall, where the damage and bodycount is increasing, however look how charming this old couple is!

Do we actually so frantically require typhoon stories that we need to turn to cutesy coincidences? Are we running so short on more significant stories, such that somebody needs to compose this little bit of morbidly cloying wordplay: “Given the ferocity of Hurricanes Harvey and Irma in 2017, this will most likely be the last and very first time the names appear in tandem. The Schluters, by contrast, have actually been appearing in tandem considering that the 1940s.”

Cute. Anyways, an approximated 13 living in the Caribbean have actually currently passed away after devastating landfall from Irma.

Here’s how the occasions supposedly decreased : A lady fulfilled a man on Tinder, went to his location, utilized the toilet, stressed when it blocked, dug the poop out of the toilet, tossed it out the window, stressed once again when she discovered it landed not on the yard however in a narrow location in between 2 unusable windows, aimed to obtain it head initially, and got stuck. In general, a quite above-average Tinder date.

If this is a scam, it’s a damn great one. Not just did the fire service validate that somebody performed in reality get saved from in between 2 windows, however the large innovative skill to weave such an engaging tale of poop retrieval would suggest we have another David Lynch in our middle.

But if this story holds true, I wish to take a minute to resolve the brown elephant in the space. Men: ladies poop. Women: we need to begin confessing that we poop. This entire culture of embarassment around ladies pooping have to end. “I’m a lady, I pooped in your toilet and it blocked, I require a plunger,” should not be world-shattering, however for lots of females it is. We’ve been taught that the appropriate thing to do is to pretend we’re biological marvels who never ever poop and pee just when a week. We have to let ladies come out of the shadows, so no one needs to turn to poop espionage once again.

Silicon Valley executives have actually been so hectic kissing their own asses, they’ve forgotten the best ways to consume. After rebranding getting high on LSD as “micro-dosing,” a “efficiency hack,” they’re now rebranding fasting as “biohacking.” Whatever needs to be “hacking” with these geeks, they most likely call alone time with their cream greased hands “intimacy hacking.”

The brand-new pattern of not consuming for a couple of days is expected to be a cheat code for dieting, err, I’m sorry, “biohacking.” The claim is that it assists with weight-loss (duh), performance, and energy. Supporters of fasting sound beautiful sciencey, with all their talk of ketone-consumption (which takes place when the body enters into hunger mode and begins consuming its own fat shops). And far be it from me to question the comprehensive knowledge of abundant Silicon Valley dweebs, however possibly it ‘d be cool to see exactly what some real researchers state about the results of fasting.

According to posts that were released in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, it holds true that periodic fasting might provide health advantages, such as resistance to illness and increased performance of memory and knowing. Many of these research studies have actually been performed on animals. Furthermore, the take advantage of fasting might just be because of the general decreased calorie consumption. Fasting might just give the exact same quantity of advantages of conventional calorie limitations, and has actually the included threat of binging on non-fasting days. Research studies on fasting have actually discovered individuals typically overindulge to compensate for their time fasting, and fasting is likewise a strong risk-factor in establishing binge-eating conditions and bulimia.

I’m not stating you should not pay attention to dieting recommendations from Silicon Valley executives who aren’t doctor. Do not come weeping to me when you attempt out the most popular brand-new trend of “pee-hacking,” where you just urinate on odd-numbered days and you end up the mom of all bladder infections.

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